In Ava’s post, she says “She perfectly balanced being a mother, truly loving and acknowledging her many children, while simultaneously working and helping change factories and employee’s rights,” which makes me think of the “having it all” discourse that many professional women are subjected to. The Atlantic recently published an article titled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” which quickly made waves. A high profile, professional woman, Anne-Marie Slaughter was claiming that in the way our society was structured, women cannot have both a fulfilling home life and a successful career. This was largely based on personal experience, and I found it particularly grating that she was claiming that children needed their mother present more than their father. Men and women have been socialized to believe that children need their mom more than their dad, that women are inherently more nurturing, a self-perpetuating concept. But Slaughter also mentions an attempt to incorporate her home life into her professional career. This was met with resistance – mainly from women, she claims – but while she was working, she tried to merge the two spheres. She advises that women should expect to peak in their career later in life than men, because they have to take time off to raise children. And this is totally fine because women, on average, live longer than men. In theory, I’d like to agree with the Slaughter’s idea that we should be valuing the family and human aspect of the professional, but I can’t understand why it has to be women who give up or put on hold their careers.
Lillian Gilbreth is a counterexample of a woman who truly did it all, even after her husband’s death. However, their youngest child did harbor some resentment, because her mother was able to spend less time with her after Frank’s death. But I think this is true of any single working parent. Her daughter’s resentment is not because Lillian was a working mother, but because she was a single working mother. By focusing on efficiency as well as the human element of parenting, Lillian was able to create meaningful work and be a fulfilled homemaker – at a time when this was a lot harder to do than during Anne-Marie Slaughter’s time.
